Ending it

The phone rings. That ring tone that special ring tone I only assign to her, plays. Normally, I am over the moon that she's calling. But, these days, these last few weeks she'll be here, Its getting harder to hang out with her. Its getting harder because I'm actually thinking of telling her everything.

Me and Anna, we've been close since high school. We were never in the same class throughout high school. We met when we were............how did we meet?, I forget, it seems so natural our friendship, Its as if we were born friends. When we left school, she went off to Matriculation, while I enrolled in college. Even then we were close, closer even. She would tell me stories of the idiots she dated, even smashed one of those random dudes in the face once for her. I would tell her my problems with my 2 girlfriends that I accumulated all my life. I guess, I never really paid attention to them, because deep down, she was all the womanly companion I needed, and this past year, the feelings became stronger.

She hooks up with another dude this year. As much as I hate to say it, this guy is actually decent, cool even. He even supports Arsenal for god's sake. This is unfair. If she wanted an Arsenal supporting cool dude, why is she not considering me? And you know what the sick thing is? I was the one who introduced them.

Yes we do the whole double date thing. None of my dates mattered, I just wanted to be with her.....none except one. Her name was Veronica, but everyone calls her Ronnie. She treated me so well, its hard for me not to get attached. She was my college mate. We met a few times at college events, and it so happened Anna called and asked if I was up for a double date. I said yes, even though I had no one to ask out. So, at one of the events, Me and Ronnie were talking, and I just upped and asked. And she said ok.

The first double date scenario with Ronnie, Anna and her boyfriend Jimmy was bowling of all things. We came separately, Anna and Jimmy was there first. To the horror of my eyes, Me and Ronnie walked into the bowling place and saw them all lovey dovey. I feel sick. We said our hellos, I introduced Ronnie to the lovebirds, and when everyone was comfortable, we started to play. We decided to switch partners, so it was me and Anna against Ronnie and Jimmy. That was fine with me. We actually murdered them that night, which to me is another sign of a beautiful relationship. I don’t care what anyone else says, I believe when you have an amazing chemistry at bowling, you and your partner are set for life……..okay, I’m reaching too high for the stars with that statement, but WE WERE MEANT TO BE !!! I KNOW IT.

Anyway, despite the whirlwind of emotion in my head, the night was a success. The parts when I wasn’t focused on Anna, I actually enjoyed my time with Ronnie. So we continued our relationship despite my obsession with Anna.

What is this event happening in a few weeks that makes me say time is running out? Well, Anna got a scholarship to study abroad. In London, England to be exact. She’s going to be out of the country for 3 years, and she won’t know how I really feel about her. 3 years is a long time, long enough for her to find another guy, and maybe that time, she’ll probably stop looking and call me up and say “ I’ve found him, he’s the one, we’re getting married at the end of the year” at which point I’ll probably say trying to sound supportive “great Anna, I’m so happy for you” but actually thinking , who is this guy, where does he live so that I can kill him…..or probably try and fail, but make an effort surely.

The ring tone keeps ringing, when I finally pick the phone up and answer.

“Took you long enough, you dope” Anna says. I love it when she calls me that.

“Oh sorry, I put my phone on silent mode” I answer rather moodily

Anna senses my sad tone, pauses, and says “ Hey, what’s wrong?, I’m sorry I called you a dope, I….” before she finishes, I cut her off and say

“C’mon, y’know I love it when you call me that,”

“Then, what’s wrong babe” Anna asks curiously, I wished she didn’t that sentence with ‘babe’

“Its just that I need to tell you something important, and I think its better if we meet for me to tell you this” I say rather sternly.

“umm…okay, no problem, anything for you. Tonight, at the spot?” Anna says

“Alright, see you there.”

We have a spot. The spot has been witness to many of our talks. Its open all night, and has unlimited (almost, depending on how much money you have) snacks and drinks at a cheap price, and its no smoking. Our spot is the petrol station near our High School. Yes, a petrol station, laugh all you want people. Its practical, and safe (barring no maniac is actually daft enough to smoke at the petrol station, and blows us up).

I arrive at the spot, and don’t see her car or her in sight. So I park, and go inside to the Doughnut shop inside. I get my hot chocolate and her tea, just the way she likes it, no milk and 2 sugars. I also get my Chocolate Pudding Doughnut and her favorite the PBJ Doughnut. I take the stuff and sit at our usual table, the second table nearest to the entrance. Haha…..I was just thinking about our mentality behind picking that table. I thought we should be nearest to the entrance, so that in the event of a robbery we’ll be on the blind sight of the robber, who will be focused on the cashier, so we would be able to sneak out. But no, she says, we need to be second nearest, so that we’ll still be somewhat on the robbers blind sight, but be second farthest to the robber, in case the robber turns around instead. Haha, I know both explanations sounds stupid, but that’s Anna, she has that ability to make sense of nonsense.

I was sipping my hot chocolate, mind wandering, when a pair of hands cover my eyes. I take a whiff, and I knew it was her. I recognize her combination of her perfume and her hand moisturizer. Its intoxicating.

“Guess who” she says cheerfully

“Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam” I say

She removes her hands and playfully slaps the back of my head while saying “ish….jahat giler”

She walks to the other side of the table and sits down, while smiling.

"So whats up dude? you seem disturbed" and makes that cute face she makes when she said the word "disturbed". I wish she didn't. Makes me want to kiss her even more

"Well, I need to tell you something" I said

"yes, we've established that, hence our meeting here at this sacred spot of ours" she answers rather sarcastically

I take a deep breath, blow it out and say

"Anna, we've been friends for almost 7 years now ya? and we've been through loads and loads together. Good and bad. Through everything, we've got each others back ya?"

She stops smiling, and starts looking worried, and says " Of course, we've always got each others back. You know I love you"

"yeah, and I love you, its just that, this past year, I realised, that I really love you, like really love you as in how couples love each other, like how Emperor Shajahan loved Mumtaz, the whole you jump I jump thing......Anna, I love you." I explain

Her face definitely changed now. From smiley, to concerned to blank. There was a long, long pause, when I finally broke the silence and said

“Anna, wait, before you say anything, let me just throw an explanation in this. This past year, When we hung out almost everyday, I just felt more than before, and so one day I started having this thought in my head, could we have that? That thing couples have, after all that we have been through?. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, I just want to know before you go, that are we a possibility, so that I don’t wonder and kill myself with what if’s all the time you’ll be gone and live in regret.”

She lifts her head up from staring down at the table, and looks straight into my eyes and says

“You dope !!, I’ve been waiting for you to say that you love me like that for 3 years now. Since you fought for me, and punched that idiot, I’ve fallen for you ever since. But I waited and waited but still nothing from you. So I made myself believe, that you’re only in this relationship just to be friends. And you know what made me believe it even more? You introduced me to a guy, and a great guy too. And you know what, I love him, and he says he loves me. So, I’m sorry, but you’re too late. We were meant to be, but you changed fate, when you ignored your feelings, and didn’t have the guts to take a chance.”

The air was punched out of me. Hearing that made me breathless. She was in love with me all along. But she didn’t say anything? She’s the girl, you’re supposed to make the first move stupid. I reached for her hands, held them in mine, and said

“Anna, I’m sorry if I was late, I’m stupid I know, but now that its all out In the open, can’t u reconsider this? The feeling is mutual now. We can work this out”

She looks at me with those eyes and replies “ This is unfair to Jimmy, and to Ronnie. They’ve done nothing wrong. I have something great with Jimmy, and he’ll be there in London with me, he’s studying there too. So, everything is set. And Ronnie loves you, I know, she’s said it to me before. So, Its better for us if we just leave it like this and continue as we were.”

“I gotta run, meeting Jimmy” she gets up, and exits.

I sit there for a few seconds, recapping the conversation, when something clicked in my brain, and immediately I get up and chase her. She was at her car door unlocking when I caught up, gently grabbed her arm, turned her around, and said,

“u didn’t say no”

They looked at each other for 2 seconds, and then they kissed

-end-

Remember people, these kinds of things don’t always end happily ever after, so peeps, If you have that certain someone that strikes your fancy, never leave it late like me, tell them how you feel. If it doesn’t turn out like you imagined, then don’t worry, be happy, because god is great. How does the saying go again, “when one door closes, another one opens” something like that. You get the picture